Lovin' it?

Whether you’re lustfully lovin’ it or opting to Have It Your Way, when the urge for a fast food fix hits, nothing fixes you up faster than a trip to your nearest strip-lit purveyor of 100% beef satisfaction.

“I was in a hurry!”, you wail when your other half finds a tell-tale branded napkin wedged underneath the passenger seat. “I didn’t want to miss the start of the film!” you bleat as a treacherous sauce sachet slips out of your jacket pocket just before the lights go down. “They come in handy on days out with the kids!”, you whimper as a double-crossing lemon scented wet wipe ‘mysteriously’ attaches itself to your mobile phone.

But oh, the withering glances, the groans of disapproval, the look of sheer amazement that crosses the faces of your nearest and dearest as your dirty little secret is revealed. “Never again!”, you vow to yourself , as you attempt to erase the grease stain from your cuff, the dry film of sugar, salt and ‘secret ingredients’ from the back of your teeth, the soft white breadcrumbs from underneath your fingernails. And for a while you stick to your promise, convincing even yourself that you’ve broken the habit. Until, that is, you catch a glimpse of your siren’s seductive, revamped lair: leather-look sofas, WiFi hotspots, drones dressed in catwalk clothes. “I’ll just have a salad”, you tell yourself as you walk through the door. “Would you like to supersize that?”, murmurs the guilty pleasure imp on your shoulder. Altogether now: la-la-la-la ...