Table manners tell you a lot about what someone is like in bed. If he/she doesn’t share, talks with his/her mouth full or whips out a calculator at bill time, end the date as soon as you come out of the restaurant.
Despite what the ad men are desperate to have us believe, M&S ready meals are indeed just food and it’s unlikely that anybody who wants to be a ‘serious chef’ starts their career at KFC.
Fish and chips cooked to order and eaten on a decked patio next to a lake, the remains fed to a fleet of friendly ducks. The cost: £5. Location: Stafford services, southbound. Who’d have thought it? (they sell Marshfield Bakery cakes, too. If service station food carries on upping the ante, I’m putting Welcome Break on the review schedule.)
The older I get, the less I understand the point of pizza.
No matter how carefully you plan them, picnics rarely live up to Nigella Lawson photoshoot-stylee expectations. Next time the sun is cracking the flags, grab a hand-raised pork pie, a box of fresh salad and a bottle of Fentimans ginger beer from your local deli instead.
Le Creuset cookware is, to the foodie, what Lacroix is to the fashionista. Pyrex, meanwhile, is equivalent to Primark.
When a family member/good friend asks you what you really think of the meal they’ve just cooked (“go on, put your food critic’s hat on - I’m really interested to know what you think”), don’t take them literally.
A sharp knife, a pair of tongs and decent oven gloves form the backbone of any home cook’s indispensable kitchen kit. But there’s no place in any decent kitchen, however, for novelty toast cutters, microwave egg poachers or battery operated ice cream scoops.
4 comments:
Pizza has no point.
It's the Italian version of cheese and beans on toast, comfort food for the lazy and unwell.
(How are you? I'm guessing my emails are still bouncing...)
Great minds, Theo dearest! Thanks for your comment.
(I'm fine - what about you? It'd be lovely to see you soon; I thought you'd tired of animaldisco shenanigans! Will call you later x)
Tired of your shenanigans?
Heavens no!
Although looking back at the email records I can see why you might think so, the last message that I know got through was rather short and sharp. Rest assured, my exasperation is with technology and not with your good self.
Hoorah! Oh, look at us - airing our dirty linen online! When we finally get it together again, we can let the whole disco know!!! x
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