... on a little dishie!

I first reviewed Onefishtwofish in autumn 2005. “Stone floors, barrel vaulted ceilings and rough-hewn white brick walls make it easy to forget that we’re merely Bath weirside, not right on some Mediterranean dock,” I crooned about this lovely little then-newbie. “Charming, friendly and darn good value for money”, I purred, before declaring it to be Venue’s Bath Restaurant of the Year award and vowing to return on a very regular basis – a promise which I honestly, genuinely did not intend to mean almost three years later. Three years! But you see, apart from the stress on the waistline, eating out at least once a week in order to pay the rent (now there’s a credit crunch contradiction) offers one major disadvantage: when I discover somewhere delightful, I fully intend to make it a regular pitstop. But the following week brings another review and, like a flighty moth to a fickle flame, I’m lured off the road of good intentions by capricious novelty. During my latest 1000 day bout of novelty-bingeing, Bath has fallen foul to the virulent contemporary lurgy that is regeneration fever. Several stalwarts of the restaurant scene have closed their doors for good, leaving empty nests open for invasion by big chain franchise operations or city slick entrepreneurs. Meanwhile – calmly, quietly, stylishly - the gorgeous little fish bistro that, so many moons ago, I waxed so lyrical about has continued to set the kind of standards that those who seek to inveigle themselves with the city’s foodie cognoscenti would be wise to take notice of.

Onefishtwofish is neither flash nor fusty. The bright but intimate ambience appeals to both traditionalists and the younger, modish set (in Bath, we still use words like modish) alike, while menus – though thoroughly modern in terms of sourcing and sustainability (paramount in a fish-based venture) – offer instantly recognisable classics amongst the sort of flourishes that keep fashionista attention levels up. Mefella and I perch on the rickety shelf between the two social bookends, and our menu choices reflect our wobbly status. For starters, he chose Indian spiced crabmeat cocktail while I went for mussels that, further bolstering my ‘classic’ sensibilities, I chose to have in a mariniere sauce rather than Thai red curry or even tomato and basil. So, while I salaciously slurped big, fat, sexy morsels from a seductive bath of wine and garlic infused cream (from an organically-reared Jersey herd whose produce is such a hit in Onefishtwofish that the farmer is getting a whole new cow just to keep the restaurant’s supplies up), he delicately toyed with a neat pile of mildly curried crabmeat dressed with an artful combination of lime, coriander, yoghurt, mint and cucumber. Admirably defending his status, Mefella then opted for a Jamaican jerk-spiced swordwish main: a truly luscious loin rubbed with a dynamic, smoky blend of allspice, peppers and exotic aromatics accompanied by roast sweet potatoes further enlivened by a coriander and coconut sauce. And for me, a grown up version of that classic comforter haddock mornay, here presented as a huge haddock fillet glazed with tangy local cheddar cheese and topped with queen scallops. My choice was fresh from the specials board; it’s my guess that it’ll earn a place on the permanent menu very soon. Despite both our dishes arriving with their own, appropriate vegetable sidecars (I opted for chips to dip into my cheese lake), a generous bowlful of new potatoes and seasonal veggies arrived unbidden, and I forgot to mention that warm, fresh bread arrived with our starters; at Onefishtwofish, no crumb is left unturned when it comes to ensuring satiation. Having said that, we still found room for a thoroughly refreshing gin and tonic jelly (jelly! Alcohol! Not many calories! What’s not to like?) and a passion fruit pannacotta (between us, we must have drained the restaurant’s cream supplies for the night) to finish, putting a full stop to a meal that had me making an oath to return to Onefishtwofish as soon as possible. And I’ll do it, too; I swear I will. No, really I will. Soon ...